r/interestingasfuck
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u/Papppi-56
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13d ago
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A Russian fifth grader put out an Eternal Flame with a fire extinguisher in Mozhaysk, Moscow. The eternal flame has (previously) been burning since it's erection in 1985
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u/bruhbruh12332 13d ago
Gotta say, that's not how I expected him to use the fire extinguisher
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u/JollyRedRoger 12d ago
Yeah, right? Extinguishing via explosion was fucking brilliant in this case. Dude needs to be an oil well fireman when he grows up!
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u/rkingsmith 12d ago
Oh he’s not growing up …
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u/allrollingwolf 13d ago
Poof!
Lol, how has that not been fucked with in almost 40 years?
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u/Dismal-Age8086 13d ago
Each Eternal Flame has its own police guard near it. Yes, there are multiple of those in Russia.
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u/Itub2000 13d ago
Kid is going on a quest to ruin the eternal flames.
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u/Snoo-44994 12d ago
Now that sounds like a Rpg plot right their.
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u/PM_me_spare_change 12d ago
A long side quest that awards you the “Extinguisher” title once you put them all out
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u/bacon1292 12d ago
It's a GTA achievement. They're scattered all over the city, and one of them is on the roof of a difficult to reach building for some reason.
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u/ShowinMyOFace 13d ago
Fits like a glove...
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u/Saltsey 13d ago •
If they didn't want it extinguished why did they make it extinguisher sized? 🤔🤔🤔
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u/Treitsu 13d ago •
Because nobody is supposed to dump a whole fuckin fire extinguisher inside
"If a man didn't want a carrot up his ass, why is it carrot sized?"
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u/fungusalungous 13d ago
"If a man didn't want a carrot up his ass, why is it carrot sized?"
"I-I fell asleep at his house, right. We was drinking, and I fell asleep at his house and....look I'm gunna kill that mutha fucka that's all you need to know, alright. And fuck carrots!"
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u/Real_Airport3688 13d ago
That sounds like something that would happen to Dennis or Mac.
It could also happen to Charlie or Frank but they'd just call it Tuesday.
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u/DrBunnyflipflop 13d ago
It'd be the main story of an episode if it was Dennis or Mac
If it was Charlie or Frank it would be an off-hand comment at the start of the episode that would end up being referred to in the end
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u/FourthBar_NorthStar 13d ago
"Do NOT fall asleep at your white friend's house. They always do some borderline gay shit to eachother.."
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u/lowcontrol 13d ago
At least when I was younger we lived by the shoe rule. If you fell asleep at a party with your shoes on, you were fair game. Shoes off, off limits. Now that I’m older, ain’t nobody got time for that. If someone falls asleep with their shoes on, “Man they must be exhausted. Let me toss a blanket on them. “
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u/soulsafe 13d ago
My rule of sleepovers is if I take my shoes off/ make some obvious effort to GO to sleep, leave me alone. If I FALL asleep, some harmless pranks are fair game.
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u/ORDO_AB_CHAO_ 13d ago
Yeah, it's dumb as hell too. Just let me fuckin sleep. Mf's put tobacco sauce in my mouth in 7th grade. I lost my shit.
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u/dancin-weasel 13d ago
Tobasco?
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u/CowntChockula 13d ago
No. Tobacco.
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u/account_not_valid 13d ago
Spit cup. A week's worth collected.
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u/TyrionsCodpiece 13d ago
Fuck you for bringing up repressed memories.
I used to have a business partner in construction that would use his empty gatorade bottles as spit cups.
One time he put his spit cup right next to my gatorade in 90 degree weather while we were on a roof.
That's the day I almost went to prison when I legit went to throw his ass off the roof. Also I can never drink gatorade or look at a spit cup without wanting to vomit.
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u/Sir_Donkey_Punch 13d ago edited 13d ago
There are plenty of men who would gladly take a carrot up the ass
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u/IgnatiusDrake 13d ago
"That's why they call me Golden Boy: 24 Carrots"
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u/hamo804 13d ago
I just wanted you to know that I collapsed this comment chain just as I got this joke and made the effort to bring it back up to upvote this genius.
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u/electrictacoland 13d ago
Four comments into a post about extinguishing fires someone is commenting about sticking a carrot up their rear. Never change, Reddit
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u/BippyHuh 13d ago
I mean, yeah. If I didn't want a carrot shoved in my ass, then why is there a carrot in my ass rn?? 🤔🤔🤔
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u/Fukboy19 13d ago
Because nobody is supposed to dump a whole fuckin fire extinguisher inside
You ain't never seen my wives butthole then
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u/TechnoDuckie 13d ago
oo he just dropped it in, well played i hope he escapes.
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u/BalancingBird 13d ago
Well... if the title is to be believed and we know he is a 5th grader - he probably didn't
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u/Deeliciousness 13d ago
He seems like he's smarter than a 5th grader.
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u/RuairiSpain 13d ago
CIA operative that had one too many vodkas on the way home, or a Ukraine freedom fighter with ball of steel
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u/routledgewm 13d ago
Ex fifth grader I guess
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u/Embarrassed_Device82 13d ago •
word is he went right from there to a recruitment office and is on the front lines as we speak
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u/Kundrew1 13d ago •
He might fall out of a window on the way.
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u/FuckYeahPhotography 13d ago
Took his own life with two gunshot wounds to the back of his head
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u/Alev218 13d ago
Poor lad, he must have been so depressed.
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u/Darkrain0629 13d ago
Basically. I did the same thing, 2 to the back of the head and had my throat cut. Suicide instantly, dead.
I’m all good now though.
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u/fmfbrestel 13d ago
He's fine-ish. His parents will probably be in the gulag, and then he'll be in a state-run orphanage. so.. probably still a 5th grader somewhere.
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u/letschangethename 13d ago
Literally last month a girl in Moscow drew an anti war picture in class. Now her father is detained and the court ruled to move her into an orphanage.
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u/Emergen-Cee 13d ago
I don’t think his classmates are seeing him next year
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u/igat_da_fishstalker 13d ago •
*tommorow
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u/KaiUno 13d ago
*ever.
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u/simonpimon3 13d ago
*unexist
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u/MidniteOG 13d ago edited 13d ago
*Unalived
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u/ecctt2000 13d ago
Who unexisted?
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u/SkirtLoader 13d ago
The “5th grader falls from 25th floor window in office building” Guy.
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u/Kill_4209 13d ago
Jumped out of a window... kids do the darndest things.
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u/Fickle-Locksmith9763 13d ago edited 13d ago •
You joke, but opposition action by Russian minors is cause for parents to lose custody.
It depends a lot on who his parents are and what type of activity authorities find they’ve been doing, but there is chance greater than zero that kid could be in an orphanage next year.
For example: a girl one year older than this boy drew an anti-war picture when assigned to draw one in support of Russian troops. That triggered an investigation, which found her father posted anti-war content online.
She is now in a orphanage and he is forbidden to contact her (he’s a single father). Officially, a court case will decide the final fate, but it looks very bad.
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u/FinglasLeaflock 13d ago
I do vaguely wonder how bad things have to get before we see a second Russian Revolution. Not trying to be glib about a horrible thing, just genuinely wondering, who had it better? The peasants of 1917, or the working-class Russians of 2023?
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u/nokeldin42 13d ago
The peasants of 1917, or the working-class Russians of 2023?
In case that's even a semi serios question, it's the current working class. In 1917, serfdom had only been abolished 50 years ago. Extreme poverty, famine etc were common occurrences. Freedom of thought/expression probably werent even things people could imagine, let alone fight for. Russian revolution was mostly a necessity for survival. The government was sending people to die on a scale much larger than today and for a thing that no Russian had anything to gain from (as pointless as Ukraine war might seem today, Russia does stand to gain a lot of natural resources of they win). People left at home didn't have food or basic necessities.
But apart from all of that, even if you think that people had more freedom/options back then, just the basic standard of living was so low that pretty much no modern person would pick that life over today. With toilets and heating and transportation and banks and water and a job that isn't fucking hard labour.
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u/mcduff13 13d ago
To add to this, about a decade before, in 1905 I believe, the tzar put down protests/ riots around the country. By killing around 15,000 people. That's not a typo or a decimal point shifting. Fifteen thousand! More injured, more dislocated. The violence that supported the Russian Empire is hard to even wrap your head around.
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u/painkilleraddict6373 13d ago
Unfortunately he had an unexpected health issue and passed away.Officials say it wasn’t from poisoning “for sure”.
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u/daddaman1 13d ago
"Excuse me class, I have terrible news, your classmate will no longer be with us, he committed suicide by shooting himself 5 times in the back wrapping himself in a rug and throwing himself in the icy river"
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u/caindela 13d ago
This is more directed at others replying to you than at you specifically, but I find it frustrating that people accuse russians of not rising up against their government on one hand (as justification for blanket hatred against their people), but then on the other hand make light of it when they do rise up with jokes like “straight to the gulag with you!”
These are people’s fucking lives that we’re joking about here. Most of us can’t even comprehend the weight of the decision this kid made. He needs to be recognized as a god damn hero instead of as a basis for braindead jokes about falling out of windows.
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u/catdog7676 13d ago
I dont think his classmates saw him come back after this happened.
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u/Brikandbones 13d ago
I thought he was going to spray it down, but this was 100x more amusing.
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u/FrogMonkee 13d ago
Smarter too. You use all of it all at once, and you get to get far away before its noticable. If there weren't camreas everywhere now he would have gotten away with it.
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u/Chiknlitesnchrome 13d ago
Yeah but instead he’s probably already in a gulag for the rest of his life
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u/spankinspinach 13d ago
I hear Putin is looking for soldiers
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u/mtarascio 13d ago
Unfortunately their type of government is vengeful.
There are things worse than cannon fodder.
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u/legoheadman- 13d ago
The way the Russian military treat their willing patriotic subordinates. I don't feel like he'll be treated all that well wherever he goes
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u/ChiggaOG 13d ago
It's the same technique to kill a gas, oil well fire, or almost any fire in general.
"You want to put out an oil fire, Sir, you just set off a bigger explosion next to it. Sucks away the oxygen. Snuffs the flame. We have ourselves a pretty big fire. Gonna need a huge bang." I still remember this quote from COD MW2.
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u/vokebot 13d ago
Reminds me of the oil rig explosion from There Will Be Blood. Used dynamite to stop the flaming spout.
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u/DEM_DRY_BONES 13d ago
Wasn’t there a John Wayne movie about capping oil wells that went something like this?
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u/EnTyme53 13d ago
Hellfighters. One of my favorite Wayne movies.
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u/IamPlantHead 13d ago
Same here one of my favorites. Also got me into wanting to do that for work. I find it fascinating.
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u/-Z___ 13d ago
It's being purposefully dense for the sake of the joke, but not Technically Wrong either, so definitely worth it for the joke imo.
That said, please don't try to put out Oil Fires with explosions if you've got other alternatives. Explosions scatter matter (almost by definition now that I think about it lol); so any FLAMING OIL that isn't extinguished is now flying through the air at high velocity.
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u/BerserkForcesGuts 13d ago
Creativity of the proces is 100 times more satisfying at the least.
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u/Canoe52 13d ago
TIL, I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.
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u/falardeau187 13d ago
You’ve been running around extinguishing eternal flame monuments for years?
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u/DannySpud2
13d ago
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Do you think this video company knows that their watermark looks like the word "cunt" being reflected in a lake?
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u/icreatemyreality 13d ago
I hope the graphic designer was laughing his ass off when they agreed to use that design
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u/structee 13d ago
We need to make a distinction here - is he doing this as a form of protest, or is he just a fifth grader who wants to blow shit up.
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u/HugoRBMarques 13d ago •
Some men just want to watch the world not burn.
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u/LogicJunkie2000 13d ago
Cue Billy Joe's "We Didn't Snuff the Fire"
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u/overtired27 13d ago
Ha, nice. Trying to imagine the verses with an endless list of not much happening…
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u/BetterMakeAnAccount 13d ago
Why not both
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u/NotSLG 13d ago
“You get the bessssssssssssst of both worlds!”
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u/fredlllll 13d ago
it triggers me when people dont extend the vowel in words XD imagine miley cyrus actually extending the s in her song...
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u/NotSLG 13d ago
Yeah, for some reason I couldn’t decide but you bring up a good point, that would sound horrible.
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u/Zatch_Gaspifianaski 13d ago
People don't sing consonants, the sound being made is always some form of vowel. Unless you're a snake I guess.
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u/-Z___ 13d ago
I'm either about to blow your mind or make you think I'm an idiot lol...
I argue the INSTRUMENTS sing the "Consonants".
Drum Cymbals have a lisp and can only pronounce "S sounds" tss tss tss
Guitars are lots of N's and R's nnnnwwwnnnn rrrrRRRRnnnnmmmnnnn
etc
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u/Zatch_Gaspifianaski 13d ago
That's pretty insightful haha, you're probably right. Most instruments were developed to either emulate aspects of the human voice, or to fill in the space around the voices in the music
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u/j8sadm632b 13d ago
How many 5th graders do you think make cogent political statements
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u/Spire_Citron 13d ago
Doesn't seem like that much of a stretch to think that one might have good reason to hate the government and the ability to think of this as a way to express those feelings.
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u/SinisterCheese 13d ago edited 13d ago •
As much as reddit, social media and media in the west wants to pretend, not every Russian is pro-war. Just like social media and media in Russia wants to pretend that every Russian is pro-war.
I know Russians living here in Finland. Like my friends' husband, who been trying to get their nephew somehow across the border to Finland, as they are soon 18. Wanting to avoid the chances they get sent to Ukraine. While the husbands son from the first marriage, is extremely pro-war, and since the war they have not been on speaking terms.
That fith grader could have Ukrainian family, as many Russians do have. Their brother/father/uncle whoever could have been killed in Ukraine.
Considering what I have seen leaking from Russia. It is the young people who are putting up the most colourful protests. Victory day, the major Russian holiday (And the day putin said the war would be won - last year) is closing in. It is in... 8 weeks? I'm sure the youths will come up with lots of wonderful things.
You see the thing is that... lot of the young people in Russia have had access to the west, grown up with the western comforts, seen the west, played videogames with westerners. Now... The war lead to them getting disconnected. They didn't grow up with USSR. They grew up during economic prosperity that trade with west allowed for. They grew up with Hesburger, McDonalds, Western brand stuff, luxury goods from Europe. They don't want to drink kvass and eat sunflower seeds in a decaying commieblock... that isn't even a commieblock, but rental apartments from private equity.
There are like HILLARIOUS videos about women fighting in Ikea over the last frying pan. https://youtube.com/shorts/gGLE_6gX9TM and other such things. When it turns out that western luxury is out of reach, those used to it ain't gonna be happy with anything less. Especially since it is unjustly taken from them by a dictator wanting to do genoicide to boost their ego.
E: Ok. Ukraine must win the war. Crimea belongs to Ukraine. Putin is a war criminal and should be arrested and face trial at ICC. I'm not Russian, I'm Finnish. Those soldiers that genocided civilians in Ukraine must be arrested and face trial at ICC.
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u/jadetheamazing 13d ago
I think the joke here is he will be sent to war for protesting the state, not that he is pro-war
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u/dafunkmunk 13d ago
I don't think very many people think all russians are pro war. That's like saying every US citizen was pro Bush invading the middle east for oil. Just because a large amount of a country happily eats up bullshit government propaganda, doesn't mean everyone living in that country is cheering on stupid wars
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u/handyandy727 13d ago
Don't worry. We are well aware a large chunk of Russia is very much against it.
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u/squidboi97 13d ago
So sad to hear about him jumping out of a tall building next week.
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u/DelcoPAMan 13d ago
"Fell"
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u/Live_Carpenter_1262 13d ago
No we got the suicide note
“Sorry but I can’t bear life anymore for blasphemy against the great Russian state. May my life light the eternal flame I burned. All glory to Putin”
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u/mike9132 13d ago
And that was the last day little Timmy was seen before he tragically tripped and landed on a bullet
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u/rncikwb 13d ago
Nah it’s Russia, he’ll trip and fall out a window.
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u/pm_me_ur_demotape 13d ago
Nah it's Russia. We shot him for doing something we don't like and we'll shoot you too if you're not careful.
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u/Gokzil6969 13d ago
He would get his daily dose of polonium soon
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u/Possiblyabitoff 13d ago
Is that before or after the 10th floor window spits him out?
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u/OorPancake 13d ago
Probably protesting against his upcoming conscription.
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u/TheMightyPenguinzee 13d ago
Plot twist: he's caught and already on his way to the frontline
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u/yolo___toure
13d ago
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I had an erection in 1985 that caused non-stop burning too.
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u/JCSTCap
13d ago
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This is a monument to soldiers who died to defeat Nazism in the second World War. They were killed protecting their families from genocide and bringing an end to the Holocaust.
It's not some act of revolutionary protest, it's kids being kids and vandalizing things they don't understand the importance of.
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u/razedsyntax 13d ago
this is the correct statement. it baffles me how people can’t separate the history from anti-russian and anti-human putins actions. the kid is probably clueless about both of those anyway
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u/Rob_Zander 13d ago
Not endorsing, but a key point here is the huge extent that WWII patriotism has been used in Soviet and Russian propaganda over the years. The invasion of Ukraine was justified as fighting Nazis. Can an eternal flame that is maintained by a government that uses what that flame represents as an excuse for invasion and murder be seen as sacred?
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u/Al1002 13d ago
Because the cold war hasnt ended for some idiots. Nor have they realized it was the fall of the USSR that set in motion what we see today.
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u/xeroxbulletgirl 13d ago
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far for some actual context. Just because Russia is doing shitty things on a global scale doesn’t mean this kid disrespecting a memorial is cool.
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u/pezx 13d ago edited 13d ago
To me, this protedt is morally ambiguous.
This Eternal Flame monument isn't a monument to the existence of Russia; it's a monument dedicated to all the Russian soldiers who died in the Great Patriotic War (aka WWII). In many respects the USSR won WWII (although they also helped start it so.../shrug) and are seen as responsible for stopping Hitler. This is, by most accounts, seen as a very good thing. Therefore, a monument to soldiers who died doing an internationally good thing, seems like it should be respected, even in Russia.
On the other hand, it feels like Russia is pretty cavalier about Russian soldiers dying for a pointless war now, so it feels like Russia itself is desecrating the point of this monument.
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u/TriggerPack 13d ago
Politicians are trying to use the memory of the war for selfish purposes. This is the only reason for the hatred of monuments and parades.
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u/Vano_Kayaba 13d ago
They've made a ridiculous agressive cult out of that war. "we can repeat" "assault Berlin" And they use it to justify this war. If the kid was 3 years older I'd be 100% sure it's a political statement
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u/ZaratustraTheAtheist 13d ago
Later the kid was so regrerfull about his acts that he comited suicide by shooting himself five times in the back.
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u/lurkinganon12345 13d ago
38 years?!?
Any erection lasting longer than 4 hours is an emergency.
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u/tan-499 13d ago
That took balls but the kid is going to regret that shit in a hellhole like Russia. Courageous young man
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u/NDRanger414 13d ago
This isn’t a “Courageous young man”. He is destroying a monument dedicated to soldiers who fought fascism.
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u/theagnostick 13d ago
Damn that’s some hella problem solving skill for a 5th grader. Most kids that age would just try to spray it, homie skipped that part and used the extinguisher to blow it up. Sad to think his elementary school ass is probably on the frontlines of Ukraine as I write this.
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u/friendofelephants 13d ago
So how did he do that? I'm definitely dumber than this fifth grader and don't know how extinguishers work.
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u/cjnks 13d ago
Been scrolling to try and see the answer as well
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u/alison_bee 13d ago
Same, and I’m shocked we had to come this far down, and we still don’t know lol.
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